Grace & Forgiveness

Hypercritical.

Self-righteous.

Judgmental.

The older I get, the more I find these undesirable characteristics have worked their way into the fiber of who I am. Maybe I've become calloused or cynical over the years. Maybe I'm more self-aware than I used to be, and I'm just coming to realize that they've been there all along. Either way, I have a problem that needs some attention.

I judge people. People who are too loud or too quiet. Too fast or too slow. Too intelligent or too ignorant. Too neat or too sloppy. Too outspoken or too reserved. Too athletic or too uncoordinated. Too good-looking or too ugly. Too pious or too impious. Too thin or too fat. Too tall or too short (although I tend to give short people a break). Pretty much, anyone that looks or acts differently than I may at some time or another fall under my judgment.

Don't get me wrong, this judgment generally comes in the form of unspoken, seemingly harmless thoughts. However, it doesn't mean that it's dismissable, ignorable, or generally acceptable. The way I judge someone, even the most minute judgment, shapes the way I think about someone. Which, in turn, shapes the way I may treat someone. You see, I can only keep my thoughts at bay for so long before they come rushing forth.

I think most of us can relate to this. (If you aren't willing to admit it, you may find yourself subject to me judging you for a lack of honesty). But I really believe there is at least a small part of each person that has some desire to judge everyone around them. And it's usually based on a few minor (every now and then major) details about an individual's life. (For instance you may judge me on my proclivity to parentheses).

Recently, I've felt challenged to re-evaluate the way I look at those who make up the world around me. Instead of deciding my affinity for individuals based on one negative 15-second encounter with any given person, I'm starting to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I used to be so self-assured, that I believed I could do everyone else's job way more effeciently than they. I would have let my line of traffic through way earlier than the girl flagging traffic in the construction area. Had I been pushing the buttons at the register, I would have memorized the code to gala apples and wouldn't have need to handle every apple on my way to finding the ID sticker. And let's not get started with the customer service member when I called my phone company.

But now I'm beginning to allow my thinking to be changed. There's probably much more to directing traffic than I'm willing to think about when I'm running late for an appointment. Running a cash register can be high pressure when there's a long line of customers waiting, most people only say something if they have something critical to offer. And I'm still thinking coming up with a positive slant on the phone company. But a change in thinking will do us some good.

Maybe this all gives you some scary insight to what goes in my mind, and you're questioning right now why I've been given the distinct privelege of serving as a youth pastor. But I'm praying what this really brings is hope. If God can change a cynical, egotistical, judgmental guy like me, there is hope for you. I'm starting to see the light in people. God is beginning to reveal that the lives of others are tied to mine but don't revolve around what I'm doing at any given moment (surprise, surprise).

If we can begin to see that there is so much more going on with others than the surfacy goings-on we witness, I believe God will begin to change what we think about others. And if He begins to change what we think about others, He can also change the way we treat others. And if He begins to change the way we treat others, He may just start a movement with a bunch of people who refuse to judge and choose to love.